I hadn't thought anyone would notice if I removed this journal. Now that it's been restored, I trust that the incessant spamming of my in-box will stop. Consider yourself forewarned that if you are sending email from an Alphabet computer, I can tell. And if you have time enough to send ridiculous emails to your superior, it's possible that you have too much time on your hands. Three minutes for a bathroom break is pretty generous, after all.

You are an idiot! Jokes about Nazis and Hitler being gay are offensive and not amusing. And nobody would ever believe Nathan Lane was a straight man.

Why is it that every time I happen to be on AIM, I end up getting approached by an idiot? First it was that Lockhart moron, now this!

( chat with another idiot (name changed to protect the not-innocent) )

I'm surrounded by idiots.

Which one of you idiots posted this? Whoever it was is going to be enjoying the refreshing cool weather of ALASKA this summer--and this winter!

Bad enough that nobody but fruitcake ballet dancer even noticed my birthday. Even worse that said ballet dancer was able to kidnap me on said birthday and nobody noticed *that*.

On other hand, v. relieved that they didn't see me that way. Humiliating to have idiot bendy ballet guy get the drop on me. Only wish he hadn't made his escape while I was working my way out of the Japanese rope bondage; would have liked to have paid him back.

Note to self: find idiot pervert ballet dancer and inflict pain and suffering equivalent to three days in rope bondage... and then some.

Got a package yesterday, containing dozen dead black roses and a black card saying "Happy birthday from Comrade Kupkake! This will be your last--wahahahaha!"

Idiot. B, Z, tomorrow you will start looking for stupid bendy ballet dancer with fondness for vegetables and death wish. The rest of us will continue with regular case load.

They didn't remember. Those bastards!

Other people get intelligent discourse. I get two blonds competing to see who can be the most obnoxious.

( ran into an idiot on AIM today... )

NO, it wasn't me! And if one more person makes a potato remark, I'm going to get in some more practice firing my Magnum one-handed!

Our President has a problem with grumpy Germans.

Could be worse. At least our President is not G.W. Bush.

K You like to try new things.
L Love is something you deeply believe in.
A You can be very quiet when you have something on your mind.
U You feel like you have to equal up to people's standards.
S You are very broad-minded.

H You are not judgmental.
E You are a very exciting person.
I You are always smiling & making others smile.
N You like to work, but you always want a break.
Z You're always fighting with someone.

( the rest of my name, and the whole Alphabet, here )What is all that crap about being a "very exciting person"? Did Eroica have a hand in writing this thing? And having a "partier side"? That couldn't be further from the truth!

Hmph. A lot of that does apply to my men, though. Idiots.

Four truths and a lie. See if you can spot the lie.

1. I started smoking when I was 12 years old; my father knew and didn't care so long as I didn't set fire to the library.

2. The first time I tried Nescafe, I hated the taste of it.

3. I can fire my Magnum one-handed.

4. I always welcome Lord Gloria's presence; he provides a necessary touch of femininity to my life that even G does not fulfill.

5. I really hate that painting of the fop in the pumpkin pants, but can't bring myself to destroy any part of the national cultural heritage.

Too quiet.

And Z has been gone for too long! If he's not back here in 30 seconds, he'll end up with only a two-minute bathroom break tomorrow!

Yet another meme; this one involves me going over my "friends" list and making a comment to each of you individually. See if you can figure out which one you are.

1. You might not be an idiot yet, but you're showing disturbing signs of the others' idiocy rubbing off on you. Watch it.

2. You are an idiot.

3. You are an idiot.

4. You are an idiot, and your loyalty is misplaced.

5. You are an idiot.

6. You are a complete, utter bastard, and I will see to it that you PAY for what you've done. Nobody survives, once he's hated by me!

7. You are an idiot.

8. You are a complete, flaming idiot!

9. You are an idiot.

10. You know how I feel about you.

11. You are a loudmouthed idiot.

12. You are an idiot.

13. You are an idiot, and you punch like a girl.

14. You are an idiot.

This is one of those stupid meme things that seem to go around like the 24-hour stomach virus during World Cup championships. So go ahead. Ask me anything. Anything at all.

I might even answer.

Knew that bastard had been too quiet lately! Look what he did to the website!

Der Spike! Your days are numbered! Your picture's being circulated to law enforcement agencies everywhere--it's only a matter of time until you are CAUGHT and when you are, you will PAY!

It seems that despite A's vigilance, that bendy Russian ballet dancer made his way to Germany. Spotted him glaring at me over a newspaper during brief coffee-acquiring stop on way to work this morning. Asked him what the @#$*)( his problem was, and he threw a cucumber at me and ran off.

Note attached to cucumber reads: "You Capitalist Swine fake! I shall avenge myself for your petty trickery! Beware the wrath of Comrade Kupkake!"

I do not want to know.

Can not *believe* Z had me so rattled! Horrifying to be seen like this by that *pervert!* Where the hell is my shirt?

Who let that idiot fop in here?!?!